15 Laws Followed in UP !! ..lolz ...

Yesterday during our all nite chatter ,i was soo many times reminded of day to day incidences back from "Bhaiyya-land " [ahem ...Uttar Pradesh the state i hail from ...]...while me and miya narrated the usual state of affairs way up .. others were busy having a hearty laf :D ...Here's something down the memory lane ..15 rules that we all up in UP live by ...


1. The Other Side Law: 

If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via the next city. 


2. The No Queue Rule: 

If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way. 

3. The Mind Over Matter Law:

If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another. 

4. The Auto Axiom: 

If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

5. The In Spit Of Thing:

The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become. 

6. The Cinema Hall Fact: 

If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.

7. The Brotherhood Law:

If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister. 

8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right: 

When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME. 

9. The Heart Of Things:

If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-deformed chest into the depths of my soul. 

10. The Name Game: 

It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.

11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree: 

When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected. 

12. The Chill Bill Move:

When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day. 

13. The Ogling Stare:

If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you're gay. 

14. The Bus Law:

If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces. 

15. The VIP Rule: 

There are only 3 important persons in this city -Me, I, Myself !

WordS of WisDoM ( ==WOW :D )

Now I believe that everything happens for a reason.... People change so that you can learn to let go..... Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right.....You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together...! [:)] 

What's right isn't always popular... & ... What's popular isn't always right....

Consider the situation : A Group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the unused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?


Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision U/we Would/Could make.


Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess.Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place? Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.

This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday.Isnt it ?? At workplaces,colleges , community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him...

Well as for The great critic Leo Velski Julian who narrated this story..."I would not try to change the course of the train because I believe that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have ran away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track!"

Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. So even if the train was diverted ...in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids. While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one....

Some food for thought ... :) :)

Looking ...mmm...staring ..mmm..checking out ..!:D

You don’t have to be a genius to figure out what gals think of guys who stare at them.. they’ll have their eyes fixed on your bre***s and you just wonder if they look beyond that. It makes HER feel worthless. Especially if you’re not even making eye contact with HER… (that's really bad...) It happens all the time with men. When a guy's talking to a girl etc. etc.; there is a sub-conscious stimulus to stare down the wishing well (ahem!!).

All guys (ummmm... excluding the one's that are gay...) stare at girls....

SOME gals don’t like it. They feel violated, used and objectified. What you need to understand is that we’re born to 'look'. Our core se*ual stimulus comes from looking. It’s a scientific fact. Look it up. If you’re in a tight pair of low waist jeans or in a short skirt, then you bet I’ll look. I mean isn’t that why u dress up that way? Even if it weren’t, I assure you I’d look. Because it’s natural, that’s the way I was born. It’s instinct, it’s the law of nature and I’m sorry girls, then at least we can say we’re half as complicated as you are!:P

Lemme try and explain this…for those with a lil' inclination of science: the ogle gene makes us do it. When the periphery of our vision chances upon what we perceive to be a female, our eyes sends a signal to our neck to turn and observe. For the non-science ladies out there: keeping it simple.. we just cannot mess around with the ways of our body even if we wanted to.

I know a lotta guys who think they're a human version of 'Superman' and use their "heat vision" powers to "burn" through a girl's garments.... That's Sick..
On the other hand, for those of you who feel that all men notice in a lady are her breasts, sorry you’re mistaken. Yes, we do move up. There’s no better turn on than a sultry, seductive or hypnotic pair of eyes and a pink pair of lips. Then, most of us gentlemen will look away or try our best not to ogle relentlessly.

It’s sort of like when you girls see a pair of shoes that you like and have to feast your eyes on them. Heck, it’s like when you sense a shoe store nearby and have to look. It’s automatic, I swear! and just because I think you’re sexy, that isn’t disrespectful, I’m sorry but it just isn’t.

A really close female friend of mine was appalled when I told her about that cute girl whom me and my buddies were silently checking out at the pizza hut :D . She said, “It’s really annoying when a man is constantly staring at you”. C’mon sweetheart, I think (NOW ?? :O )it’s the most natural thing to do!!! Guys look at girls and girls look at guys. It’s just that there’s a proper way of doing it…but there’s definitely nothing sinful about it...


P.S.1. : Notice how a girl starts adjusting her top/shirt when she catches a guy checking her out !!

P.S.2 :i know i m gonna get hate comments for this post,but i guess atleast a few guys will give me a thumbs up :P

DummieS GuiDE tO CruShES ...!!

Well ,this post follows up from one of the chats,in which i told one of my friends that i once had a momentary crush on her ...!!!...lolz ....i hope u guys enjoy it ...:D


aah before we begin ...i would like u to give a glimpse into the kinda personality SHE is ...!!

http://vishalrockstar.blogspot.com/2008/06/he-met-girl-based-on-true-events-j-j.html

hmmm here we go ....
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me:yaar ..the day v went to anaicha’s for dinner..tu soni lag rahi thi .. :D :D

if I hadn’t known u …I would have had a crush on u …!!actually I did have a lil crush on u ...

mudita: aapka dimaag aur chasma dono kharab ho gaye hain ?

me: it was a fleeting crush ...

mudita: :D

me: jo aaya ..

aur hawa ho gaya ...!!

lolz

mudita: strange thing for me nyways....

me: yeah ...

mudita: POPAT actually

me: strange thing for ME as well!
I usually don’t get crushes …!

lolz

mudita: yaar mere ko aisa momentary crush kyun nhi hota

me: lolz

mudita: hota bhi hi toh pata nhi chalta

me: abe bata ke nahi hota.. lolz

kabhi hona hoga to ho jayega ..

mudita: aaj tak mujhe toh samajh hi nhi aaya...ki CRUSH hota kya hai?

me: areee CRUSH is like .. kisi ko dekhte hi ..

u hv this sudden strong feeling ..

ki kaaash ....

lolz..

this is the best i can describe..

this whole kaaaash ...affair ==crush ..

mudita: mujhe toh hritik ko dekh bhi nhi lagta aise

me: lolz …toh oB ..

hritik aint that good ! lolz

areee ...its NOT always abt just the looks !

mudita: are aaj tak jinne bande dekhe hain

real me ya tv pe

me: CRUSH happens on UR TYPE … of guy/gal...

mudita: i found him the best

me: OB ...

every1 wuld agree to that ! lolz

par crush ordinary logon pe bhi ho jaata hai .

mudita: ya fir tom cruise

me: ya fir mel gibson ?

mudita: far beyond my reach

me: leonardo caprio ?

bechare… lolz

areee thoda strange kinda funda hota hai .

mudita: :(

me: crush bhi kaafi type ke hote hain .

as in ..logon ko..

mudita: classifications hain kya?

me: permanent type ka crush hota hai .

like ..sum guy in ur college..

jisko dekh ke ..suddenly ...koi ladki ..aahe bharna shuru kar de .. lolz

i mean if that happens EVERYTIME

she sees him .. lolz

chahe wo usse ghaas bhi naa daalta ho!

fir bhi bandi ko lagega..

HAAYE ....

kaaaaaaaash...!!!

then its permanent type wala crush ..

then thr is fleeting crush ..it can happen nywhr!!

but usually happens wid

EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING

GUYS/GALS !

lolz

mudita: aap ko toh crush pe buk likhni chahiye

me: oracle se nikalte hi forum wali road ki taraf mude ...

aur haaye...

!!

lolz

bagal se ek bandi nikali ....

mudita: yeh locha aaj tak na samajh me aaya hai...na aane wala hai

me: jo aapko ..cross karne ke baad bhi ..

aap usse mud ke dekh rahe hain ..

even though her BF is wid her !

aur kaafi acche chances ..hain ..ki ..

mudita: haha

me: agar ladai hui ..

mudita: wat an explantion

me: to shaamat aapki hi hai !
lolz

mudita: hats off yaar

me: fir bhi ..

haayeeeeeee

kaaaaaaaaaash

lolz

aap mudte hain ..

aur jab tak wo

out of sight nahi ho jaati ..

(even at the risk of ur bones !!!)

poora deedaar karte hain

;)

:P ..lolz

mudita: mudita: hats off man

wat an explanation!!

me: hahah

hmm ..

aur uske ...baad … jab aap flat aate hain ..

aur koi .....rocket science ke upar bhi discussion chal raha ho ..

toh aap achanak se bina kisi baat ke ucchal padte hain ..

"haaayeeee ..

wo corner waaali ...

"

ya fir ..

"

wo FORUM waaali ..

"

lolz

mudita: aapko buk likhni chahiye pta hai?

me: aur aise ....agle 10 12 din tak ..

aap apne doston ko bore karte hain!

lolz

mudita: :wo forum waali"

me: agar wo bhi aapke saath the !!

to OB jaise hi aap ..

haayeeeeeeee

karte hain ..every1 else is also reminded !!

aur wo sur mein

aapko ..join karte hain ..

haaayeeeeeeeeee...............

ye teesra type hai … UNIVERSAL CRUSH !

mudita: Omg ..this is soo damn funny …

me:nevertheless it’s the truth ….

:D

mudita: m nt able to believe ki mai yeh crap sunne ke liye inni der tak ruki hun

nyways…u din tell me this bfr ..

me: aree tab thappad padne ke poore chances the…yahan chat pe its safe na :P

mudita: tab batate toh pad jaata shayad

me: lolz

yeah ..chal bahut ho gayi fokat panthi ….so jaa …

mudita :damn !! its already 3 am !!...


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